I Will Walk Away

I get tired of people easily, and probably it is also true the other way round...

I suck like hell.

I feel bad about not being able to keep my love toward someone fresh for a long time. It languishes before you can say jack robbinson.

I am an unfeeling bitch.

I need preservatives for my love life.

I hurt people but always feel I myself am the victim.

I know how stupid this sounds but I will walk away from you, all of you...

Sorry I just don't have that casual manner when it comes to love; sorry that Sarah is too vulnerable so she always arms herself wit armor and plate mail.

She is fragile. She is timid. She is horrible. She is just so sorry...

I love you.

But I will walk away...

Teeeeeerry, You Know I HEART You

The video perhaps says much more than I could ever do. So click on the link below(In case it doesn't load on blogspot).

Please... Nobody in the world will deny the chance to share the happiness of a girl overwhelmed with joy!

It's gonna be my B-day soon, by soon I mean VERY! Merely three days to go... My very sweet guy friend Terry sent me a sweet bunch of flowers from the states and it was a pure surprise God himself could ever design for any human beings... I looooooooved it!

By the way, Sarah's real name(If you know me for a while) is Jessie, and Terry's first nam is Joe, so we are group J&J!

Surprises!!! Halleluyah to a blessed girl on her big day!

Mind joining me and tangoing?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SmTXl1R1DYo

More People Out There! Jump On the Bandwagon and Dance!

I was lucky enough yesterday... First, Rosel asked me to have dinner with her at a lovely fancy restaurant called Oogenlust. The building design is quite unique which resembles an European medieval chateau. The beautiful scenery definitely worked on my appetite and I felt like eating the whole plate up if no one was gonna stop me..
Later on, Brendan talked to me on MSN and agreed to give me some advice on how to improve my writing skills. Thanks, you China-hugger!

Admittedly, I am always attracted to new things. My inspiration mushrooms each time I bump into something different, or unheard of. Rumor has it that Sarah was raised only to believe in strangers, because they taste oddly fresh and comfortably unfamiliar... Usually I never plan before any of my trips. They are deliberately made random. Part of the reason is that way it makes me feel the whole world is out there waiting to surprise me. Yeah, again, surprise, women' achilles heel.

If you know me well, you probably should have figured out what I am up to. Well, yes, S is gonna contribute some articles to a magazine. The exact name and content are still confidential. hahaha. Don't worry, the yearning to know or any other kind of curiosity won't burn you at heart, as long as you play safe. I've spilled some beans already so the rest of information, if desired, is left for yourselves to explore, barehandedly.

Still shilly shally as for which unis I should apply for. Any recommendations? Just you know, you are always more than welcome to contact me, for I enjoy talking to people I dont already know, hehe and of course as well as those I do know well. Perhaps I will finally take your advice and go to a uni that is incredibly near your own location, so what might happen next? Only God knows!

Currently in a desperate mood to become retro.

I love and miss you all.

Sarah

the Debate Season Is Coming Around

Last year today, I was an elated&lucky BRAT who had just made herself into the national debating competition final. Logic, as has shaped people's values during their cognitive developments, constantly tingles my soul and brings out the best in me.

I heard you. But NAH, I am a GIRL. Who says the world of reasoning is only the private realm of, MEN?

Those pitched debating battles I've experienced have engraved on my mind some invaluabe "technical know-how":

(1) For the most part, sincerely expressed respect is all it takes to keep a rival's momentum afloat. There are no glorious victors unless it is a close game and hard fought.

(2) Surprisingly, the anger of your opponents can be easily appeased with you allowing him or her to disagree.

(3) The closer you approach the core of an issue, the more easily you get lost.

Hence, to be a great debater, we must

(1) Differ with polite sophistication. If you win, nod slightly to those who are left in a blue funk — they suffer because of you. Just make sure your smile isn't too bright to incite bitter resentment in their broken hearts. If you lose, take the defeat gracefully. Always be a man/lady and shake the winners' hands, instead of gnashing and murmuring inside: Let them eat cake!

(2) Argue but do not quarrel. The exchange of sensible words is more deterrent than a real sword, so take a deep breath and calm your fretful nerves down. Remember: the best game is still yet to begin. As a debater, our aim is not to fight tooth and nail with the opposite team, but rather, to convince those fence-sitting audience who might flip flop at any teeny tiny slip of tongue.

(3) Focus but avoid "snow blindness". Sometimes, the answers are actually close to the surface of water while you are desperately cudgeling your brain for some smart ripostes. Smile and relax if you can; if not, at least make sure your facial muscle doesn't strain. Be ready to receive any ideas that pop up along the way — great chance they are perfectly inspired, and thus incredibly handy.



So missing those good old days...

What a stark and sarcastic contrast :-( Jessie is right now ENJOYING her staycation and quite sheltered(holed up...air air!)... There! I saw disgust and contempt written all over your face... Don't muffle it, too late already~~~

Still trying to figure lots of stuff out.

Anyone dropping by think of yourself as a natural for success? Don't play humble and write me a short reply. Make Jessie envy you...

In Taiwan, laziness is still all the rage. Duh!

Done rattling. Well, almost done...


See you later, alligator

I Am A Terrible Terrible Person

As said in the title.

I may use some real harsh chide right now. In some dark hours like this, I do need a wake-up call.

Stop presenting me on some holy absurd pedestal...Stop showering me with filigree or throwaway compliments. I certainly don't deserve them.

Bye vanity...S is gonna cast her face into the depth of the Pacific ocean.

To hell with “C'est la vie”! Life is to be built with real efforts. Glories belong to people who don't let laziness get the upper hand of them.

Tell me how bad I am if you know me, PLEASE... My skype name is Sarahq1987. I will be hugely thankful if someone could drop me a message and pour on me some cold water.

I hate getting intense when I'm socializing with lots of people but that happens. I hate perfectionists while I am one of them. I hate being romance-proof yet I can't find myself a boyfriend. So for sure I know I myself am hateful enough...

Go find me and teach me a lesson.

Do my words sound beseeching enough?

You never know how grateful I can be. Wake me up and save me...

When I Feel Hungry

A texted me the other day, asking,"Haven't heard from ya for a while.. Did your high cholesterol get you?" My head went all blank at that moment in time and then some annoying thoughts flashed back —— Well, admit it S, you are sick.

Yeah, delicious scoop, isn't it? I am SICK. The number of my cholesterol level poses itself as a looming threat to my health, if not, my entire life. Subconsciously, I might have told myself millions of times that both the creamy sesame paste and the oily hotpot are very likely to boost my blood fat, when had too much, yet my mind was clogged enough to dictate any salubrious changes. Eight packs of sesame cream per day + three meals(including a hotpot dinner)= 4000 Cal... Guys, have I told you that Sarah used to be nothing but an idiotic person with bonkers ideas? The moment we got the news, on my old folks' faces immediately showed some overwhelming anxiety while I was trying to mask my own. It's my stinky mess and I have to clear it up, myself.

One month and a half has passed and every day of it was spent with me calculating Cals of food and making exquisite choices of what I should eat and what not. Life suddenly became more energy consuming and brain racking.. S, you definitely need to take care of yourself now, otherwise it's almost dead cinch that you will end up in hospital, sobbing in those so-called safe hands. No,NEVER NEVER NEVER!!!

During the spring break, I stayed in Taipei with a friend's family for four days. It was a purely pleasant memory. We danced at Lava, one famous night club there and had plenty of fun. My lately purchased camera did a wonderful job in taking snapshots. Later on I'm gonna post several pics here in case someone is interested. A little warning in advance: Sarah is still a rookie at making up —— I even forgot to paint my eyebrows @ Lava!

Just back from a convenience store and bought some fruit, milk and oatmeal... What a nutrient diet! S is on her way to becoming a real princess, a slim beauty with royal glamor!

Hours Slide and Days Go By...

Never before have I got this kind of feeling, that everyday is full of brand new experiences and intriguing adventures, purely unexpected and full of suspense.

Still vividly present in my mind's eye is a picture I dreamt about the first night spent in Kaohsiung: All the five of us exchange students are stomping like sulky kids, suffering from some nameless homesickness in this "vaguely different" cultural environment. We suddenly become landlubbers at sea, distracted and confused as the sense of belonging diminishes. Who are we? What are we doing here? Shall we mingle as freely as possible or step back with a perfect sense of propriety? It seems the key to answering those questions is all about the strength of self-control yet none of us manages to get the whole picture.

Totally at a loss until recently... My newly met Taiwanese friend Ya-Chu invited me to a sleep-over in her house for a couple of nights and I was more than happy to be her lodger——if only you knew how great and generous that girl is, not to mention she is also adorable and cute. Lady Luck was definitely smiling upon me and therefore I owe substantial gratitude toward her timely favor! I am now way more relieved and assured than I was in those beginning days, for genuine friendship does count in my case. "Have no idea what to do when there is some spare time? Relax! Here comes Ya-Chu, an angel with shining wings..." I have to admit each time we hang out together I feel like a million dollars deposited in a safe bank, with handsome interest and solid security. I find myself free of want, because she fulfills whatever I could possibly have in mind. Sometimes when I reflect upon myself I cannot help wondering whether I am also to her satisfaction, and whether I am worthy enough of all her kindness... Love between a sweet couple is always deemed selfless but somehow I find friendship has the same magical appeal when the vibe is right. I am totally swept off my feet by this girl with her impassionate personality. Thanks Ya-Chu, and any guy who deserves your love must be the luckiest man under the sun!

And of course another person I have to bring up here is Eyan Wiggy, who hit the jackpot when deciding on Ya-Chu as his host for couch surfing(A free, Internet-based, international hospitality-exchange service network, providing members around the world to coordinate contacts and home accommodation with each other). He is an English gentleman full of fun, typically reserved at the same time. The most amazing highlight of his life probably should be the fact that he is incredibly cosmopolitan, a well-experienced global trotter. During the past 11 years, he has already set foot on the shores of 52 countries (the number is still mounting), which undoubtedly makes him a legendary hero. In all honesty, Eyan is not the type of guy who is ready to steal the limelight and easy to spot among a mass of people, but still he is nothing but special. Uniqueness and bravery are all he has got in the first-aid kit. Throughout our conversations, he remained so sure about himself and all my efforts to dampen his pride ended in vain. Curiously, I asked him where his firm confidence came from. Eyan blew my mind by answering that he had never admired other people's lives or imagined himself to be someone else. He enjoys being himself and believes what he is up to right now is the most meaningful thing in his best interest. To him, later on I assume, that travelling itself is rewarding enough. He is completely into his everyday experiences——people who he meets along the trips, breath-taking sceneries, unfadable hopes, tempting joys... He keeps extracting the best that life can offer from the world unknown, which in the eyes of many looks dangerous and scary. Only the very first person to try the tomato knows exactly how delicious it tastes, because his/her feeling is unprecedented, hence unbeaten. Likewise, vanguards from any field enjoy to themselves the exclusive happiness of crying out “Voila!” while copycats only get to claim the leftover.

So, better choose the road less travelled…

More often than not, we are trapped in the spiral of self-doubt and frightened of our own dreams. We are dying to be somebody but forever hesitating to take the first step from the pathetic identity of nobody. Despair and helplessness keep smoldering inside of us. In the end, we can't help feeling frustrated and disappointed. Then self-confidence is draining until it is completely gone.

It is human nature for one to attempt to predict his or her fate, consciously or subconsciously, no matter how lame a fortune teller he or she actually is. Some people consequently fall victim to their self-spun miserable illusion. The truth is, however, you will never know if you never try.

Being young and naive, we wishfully hold there are infinite tomorrows, awaiting us to waste and squander. Everything that matters hugely is being taken for granted. Few of us ever make plans, and those who do have schedules never bother to follow them thoroughly. I have in my life heard too many people complaining about their crumbling dreams and shattered faith. "If I knew then what I know now...I should have done..." Well, my dear friends, the cruelty of reality determines there is no leeway or turning back when the die is already cast.

Be a dreamer and fill your dreams with feasible plans instead of starry eyed fantasies. If you are tired of the current life style and find yourself stuck in a rut, do not dilly dally and step out of the comfort zone for a change. Work on your sensitivity and never allow numbness to get the upper hand, for the wealth of the mind is the only true wealth —— the single piece of belonging that nobody else can ever take away from you. One precious lesson I learned from Eyan is, it takes real courage to break the inertia of ease and to achieve something big. Faint hearts do not only lose fair ladies but eventually, everything.

In some way, everyone in the world is a traveller with different focuses and destinations. No matter what transfer stations we are passing by, the ability to maintain direction savvy is decisive among all the indispensable skills. Once you are sure about the person you desire to turn into, please hurry to meet him or her. Meanwhile, cherish and relish the moment, cause tomorrow never comes.

It was my greatest pleasure getting to know both of you, Ya-Chu and Eyan. And I think my dream tonight and many nights after won't be haunted by nightmares anymore...

Attention, Taiwan! Sarah is stretching out her arms to give you a warm and big hug!!

Sarah in Taiwan (A)

As a mainlander who's currently studying in Taiwan, I find my school life full of unexpected ups and downs. The very moment our plane landed on the ground of Kaohsiung, my whole body couldn't help trembling —— not because of the chilly (it's hot here actually) weather but the strong sense of identity crisis suddenly aroused in me: Being the "First Generation" means you are now out of your comfort zone and have to watch your back non-stop.

That sounds tough, huh?

Yet even though life is not as easy, cheerful hearts can always find a way to entertain themselves： The funniest part is now Sarah enjoys being treated as a FOREIGNER in a place where most people speak the same language as hers——mandarin Chinese. How sarcastic!

The first image Taiwan left me was pretty puzzling (maybe I'm kind of used to ppl yelling at me? bah...): People in Kaohsiung are so polite that I sometimes have to remind myself to stay lady-like and behave elegantly. Here, you don't need to be a high-brow to be refined and well-mannered. No matter from what family background you were raised up, speaking in a soft&gentle way is a MUST, and nice smiles also hit the spot.

As for other stuff, please read an e-mail I wrote in reply to a Canadian friend who asked me about my life details in Kaohsiung. Enjoy!

Hola back Maja,

I'd love to help you get to know Kaohsiung better though I myself am not very familiar with it yet. It struck me the other day that we can actually invite some friends to build up a group on MSN or Skype where people could be more active in sharing experiences and exchanging personal feelings. Of course "life exploring in Kaohsiung" would be the theme. What do you say?

As for my view on the city, the very first image it left me was quite friendly. People speak gently and they seem ready to help others out 24-7. Later on, different aspects of it were gradually revealed, and be them lovely or not, the city of Kaohsiung still remains an interesting place for foreigners like you and me to come for a visit. Also if you are a gourmet, those eyes-dazzling food sold on various night bazzars or night fairs will absolutely satisfy your appetite. Even a glance over the delicacies would be a feast for the eyes.

OH AND MOST IMPORTANTLY, IT'S DEFINITELY WARMER HERE THAN IN CANADA!!! Actually I was thinking the word WARM was too weak to describe the weather in Kaohsiung. THE SUN NEVER SLEEPS HERE! It can get super hot, like keep-your-body-soaking-wet-all-day-long hot. Imagine that! hahaha, no matter what, I'd say I fancy Kaohsiung, the sunny capital of Taiwan (sometimes mixed feelings are stirred up I have to admit). Anyway, at least it's easier for someone who has TAN CRAZE to realize his or her dream ;-)

One possible advice would be: Don't work your expections up too much. With all its charm and charisma, however, Kaohsiung cannot be really regarded as a sleepless metropolis. Night life here could be a struggle. Hehe, unless you own a car and are able to drive it around as you like. Barbecuing alongside the Love River would be a nice choice or bar-hopping if you are staying right in the center of those newly-developed districts, "Xin Juejiang" for example. Of course shopping malls and restaurants would serve as supplements to fill one's void. Kaohsiung citizens enjoy their leasure time thoroughly and you will quickly fit into the society if you also take a shine to the easy and laid-back lifestyle here.

Last but not least, there are young people everywhere, even in the nursing home I guess? hehe...They love exercising here and you should always be careful when you meet an old person. Remember: they are simply mellow but not senile!

Hopefully you found this helpful and if possible, we can hang out sometime after you guys have arrived.

Will keep you posted with what's new here and interesting places to go.

Best regards,

Sarah

A new day has already unrolled and I'm about to go to sleep. Even dreams here are intriguing....Wanna know more? PLS STAY TUNED!

I'm Back and I'm Thinking!

Hello everyone, Sarah is back!

Don't know whether this is too late but"Frohes neues Jahr!"

I cannot believe it the curtain of 2009 has already been lifted! Where did all the time go?

Anyway, here is a list of my New Year resolutions. Sit tight and enjoy!

First, Sarah will lose at least 20 pounds!!! Bite me, you cowardly losers!

Second, she'll make sure her application process go on smoothly. Hey, Scholarship!!

And finally Sarah is going to find a sweetheart(male pls...). Oh wait...She won't let anything get into her friendship with others though. Sarah can handle both, whoopee!

Yay and Whee! GUYS PLEASE JOIN ME! Sarah has got her momentum back!

I think, therefore I am. And life for me is always becoming never being!

Watch your back! Sarah the conqueror is coming!